revamped voice assistant a free perk for prime members launching

With an admirable blend of tenacity and sheer bloody-mindedness, our tech wizards have titled their latest triumph: a revamped voice assistant. Like Britain's summers, the rollout will come in waves starting next month. This puts an optimistic light on our global obsession with instant gratification, reflecting the spirit of "afternoon tea will be served when we're good and ready, thank you very much.

Brace yourselves, yet another tech marvel will be gracing your digital doorstep, and before you ask, no, it won't fix the potholes in your local high street. However, for those self-proclaimed VIPs brandishing their Prime memberships like Olympic medals, you won't have to dig into your silk-lined pockets for this one. It's on the house - a truly rare treat in these austere times.

So chin up, and prepare yourselves to confront an additional contraption of the digital age, with the knowledge that the struggle with this technology will persist, like an uninvited neighbour at a garden party. Yet, remember, as much as we Brits love a good moan about the challenges of tech, we mustn't lose our sense of humour, because where would we be without it? Probably sat in front of a teasmade, yearning for a software update. Read more here.